Live Like A Kid

I’m obsessed with being a kid. Not with being childish, but with that pre-K excitement that only a shiny “Great Job” sticker can bring. I try to equate this kind of obsession to a mid-teen crisis of sorts, or a childhood “Bucket List”, considering I have barely six months of legal childhood left.

But, in reality, it is actually a very healthy thing I have grown to appreciate, something I try to playfully flick at others in my life.

It is simply a child’s view of the world.

Now I don’t mean we should all throw tantrums in the cereal aisle at WalMart. I mean that we should appreciate everything in life with a pristine and slightly impractical enthusiasm. So what if a broccoli casserole just exploded in your oven? Did you have fun making it? Are you mature enough to order pizza and clean up the mess?

I hope so.

Are you enough of a child to laugh it off, smear a little of it on your nose, take a goofy picture, and giggle every time you open the file on your desktop?

That would be nice, wouldn’t it?

At a time in my life when being “grown up” is no longer encouraged, but mandated, I find myself clutching at old, familiar things while contemplating new wisdoms like a seven-year-old contemplates his new, “big kid” bike. It’s a strange type of growing, no longer upward toward the sky but inward toward the heart, no longer wishing for more trees to climb, but wondering at how many I have climbed, and at how many I have yet to discover.

Being a grown-up is a tough responsibility, and sometimes we scribble right on top of it, never realizing that it came and wondering later where it went. The most important thing to do, then, is never to grow so old that we forget to grow up and remember to retain the innocence of childhood. A child wishes to be older, appreciates his youth, and cherishes the smallest details of life.

When you can truly view life like a child, you are able to see, hear, and feel life as it’s happening, and experience true generosity.

Of course, there can be a few side effects.

Thinking like a kid can lead to extensive coloring book collections, Disney Princess lunch boxes, and pink painted tiaras made from soda bottles and hot glue. But I’m okay with this. It’s a cushion of sorts, absorbing the new discoveries of my shiny new adult mind with a gentle cuddle, covering them with “Finding Nemo” rub-on tattoos, and tucking them safely away.

It’s a pretty nifty thing. I like it.

So I have learned to smile for no reason, to hum “Under the Sea” while doing laundry, and to make every day of growing up a special adventure.

Relax. Laugh. Enjoy.

Because every minute is important. Live it with fervor. Live it genuinely.

Live it like a kid.

The Truth About Confidence

For anyone who has seen a Shine Through program or has read Falcon’s Prey or Lymeria, you probably picked up a pretty obvious “Confidence is the way of the future!” vibe. For six plus years, I have been using writing as an esteem booster, and for four of those years, I have used motivational speaking to encourage others to find their own ways to gain confidence. But it was only this past summer that I myself learned the most important thing about confidence.
It came like a slap in the face. Simple, easy, obvious, and smarted like no one’s business. Why hadn’t I realized it before? It’s not like the idea was so otherworldly that I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming. The scary thing was that it was all so there, like a shop window you pass on your way to school, but fail to notice. Then, on a rainy day, as you find shelter under the awning after dejectedly walking home from missing the bus, you notice. How could you have not seen the beautiful things inside?
I have been practicing the art of self esteem my whole life. I have also enjoyed the fine sport of a good challenge. So, naturally, when I was shoved into the role of Lola in Damn Yankees a few weeks ago, I accepted the character as a worthy opponent. Boy was I in for a ride.
During the short breath of air before senior year, I discovered just how tough one of my biggest fears truly sized up to be. Lola was a fierce, sassy Latin seductress who drove men wild and got all the big dance numbers. I am a short, operatic piece of white bread who giggles at uncomfortable intervals and dropped out of tap class in the seventh grade after the first day. Nonetheless, I announced my determination and dedication to both the director and choreographer with a brave face and mounting courage. It wasn’t long till I was stepping on everyone’s feet and being told that my “sexy” voice sounded like Forrest Gump. It was turning into a long summer.
Opening night came on a Thursday. A long Thursday. A hot, sticky, muggy Thursday.
Being a veteran of the theater since age six, I had only occasionally experienced the butterflies and the shakes. Acting has always been, well, my thing. And I was always proud of the hard work I put in to make each performance my best. On that stifling, suffocating Thursday, I was perfectly ill.
Stage fright. Was I seriously falling victim to stage fright? Well, first the nausea, then the headache, and as I popped a Tylenol for the abdominal pain, my teeth chattered so loud that my friend offered me his jacket…in August. It was stage fright, the bane of the acting world, the vampire that seemed to suck all confidence out of my jugular. I felt the cold breeze of terror slide beneath the walls and through the cracks of my one true stronghold. After years of struggling with my self esteem, with bullies and loneliness, I had never once thought that my acting could ever be the target.
I moved out of the dressing room, where most of the cast sat in a messy circle singing the Beatles, and wandered off into the wings, or the side of the stage where everything was blindingly dark. I didn’t want to be seen in all my nervous glory. As I clung to the curtain ropes and tried desperately not to hyperventilate, I pondered.
Why this? Why now? I was finally at the moment in my life where things seemed perfect. My whole life I had wanted half of what I have earned over the past few years, and I can’t possibly be more grateful for it all. I have ventured far from being the friendless, overly-obsessive fat kid. I even refused to do many things that I loved out of fear of judgment and disappointment. Now, I have more friends than I can count, am starring in roles I had only ever dreamed of playing, am the author of two novels, have had the opportunity to reach out to young people across the nation, am complimented on my previously non-existent sense of style, and I’m loving life more and more each day. I thought that, if I could valiantly vanquish Lola in all her skimpy costumes and Charo-esque accent, I would finally have reached the top of my mountain, and could sit back and enjoy the view from my throne.
So it’s obvious why that slap in the face hurt so much. I realized, after sprinting uphill to receive my prize of a life’s supply of self esteem, I would never be able to.
Confidence is not a destination, but a sometimes bumpy, always scenic road that can lead you nowhere but up.
At the moment, I was struggling through a pothole.
The lights on the stage faded to black and I realized in a panicky hiccup of time that it was my turn to go on. Still keeping my head high, but feeling my knees tremble, I felt my way across the stage and sat on the chair placed slightly stage left, my heart pounding louder than the percussion from the orchestra below.
I had about twenty seconds to collect my thoughts and keep myself from fainting. What was I supposed to do now? The realization that I could never have perfect confidence was enough to throw me off balance, and with the added stage fright, I needed to resolve things fast. So, even if I completely conquered the Lola beast there and then, I would not be the queen of anything. Okay, that didn’t help…
But if I overcame my insecurities anyway, I would still be proud of my performance and still have a lot more self esteem than when I started. Better… And, if I knew that I would always have challenges to face, Lola wouldn’t seem so monstrous. Getting warmer… And most importantly, if I let go of all my inhibitions with this show, and realized that I was no superman, then I would be able to relax and enjoy the challenges and rewards that life would bring with a brave heart and a deeper appreciation. A little preach-y but as close to perfect as it would get with three seconds to go…
I took a deep breath. The lights came up.
And I had the time of my life.
So now, with Damn Yankees behind me and a life of improvement before me, I feel just fine. Knowing that I will always have a battle to fight makes me stronger. And knowing that my confidence will only grow brighter whether I win or lose makes me look to the future. We are all capable of making ourselves just a little better than we were the day before. That piece of proverbial comfort food may be just what we need to push ourselves just a little farther each day.
It gives us a gratitude for the things we have and the excitement to try new things. Confidence is always right beside us, waiting for our permission to give us a little nudge or a great leap to do what we never dreamed possible. So pack your sunscreen and charge your cameras. The long road of confidence is a beautiful thing. Snap a few pictures. Write a few postcards. And above all, enjoy the journey.

Mothers Day

There are a lot of things that we take for granted. The plastic wrappers that individualize cheese singles, those couple of seconds between songs on a playlist that give our minds a chance to cool off from the previous song and get psyched for the next one. But possibly the most important and most common thing that we take for granted is the impact a parent makes on our lives.
So, maybe your relationship with your mom isn’t that great. She’s still the reason you’re here, and the one who paid for the cheese singles and the iTunes cards. And maybe your relationship with your mother is wonderful. Do you recognize every red sock pulled out of the laundry to rescue your white hoodie? Every yellow light sped through to get to your three-hour-long clarinet recital? Every time your toothbrush magically appeared in your sleepover duffel when you swore you had left it on your sink?
Mother’s Day was inspired by common meetings held by mother’s who lost their children in battle during the Civil War. Their meetings brought awareness to a mother’s role in American society, leading to a Mother’s Day Movement on the second Sunday in May of 1877, regarding the temperance movement, similar to a modern Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Ever since then, the observance of Mother’s Day has continued every second Sunday of May since.
What’s the big deal? Mothers have been our first everything. Our first best friend, our first idol, our first hero, and the first one we went to when we were sick, upset, or simply felt like bugging someone. Clearly, Mom deserves some recognition for being there every time. Conveniently enough, there’s a specific day on the calendar to do just that!
So, if you don’t have a fortune to spend on jewelry or flowers, or enough creativity to create a photo collage, or enough time to clean the house with a toothbrush, take just one minute to say thanks. You don’t even have to do it in person! Write a list of the things you appreciate your mother for; things she would never expect you to notice, like the fresh carton of milk in the fridge or the cell phone charger (which you thought you had lost) that wound up sitting on your bed when you got home from school. Put the list in her purse or wallet, or any other place where she’s bound to find it. And, if you’re that reluctant to say anything, send her a text that reads “tnx”. Those three letters will mean more than any number of gardenias or begonias.
Every day is Mother’s Day, so let Mom know that you appreciate her. Start to notice those little things that she does for you. Those things can add up quickly, and deserve an expression of gratitude every once in a while. Don’t take your mother for granted. Show her you care.
Happy Mother’s Day!

With a smile and a song...

Snow White had the right idea. In celebrating springtime, we all think about the original morning person, herself. Poor Snow White was almost killed by that Huntsman guy, and yet she still chose to live in a bubble of blissful ignorance. Or was she really just a happy person?

I prefer the latter. Snow White is famous for her obnoxious operatic voice, when she should be known for her incredible ability to “fill the world with sunshine.” Think about it. No one else would be able to survive the evil queen’s horrid lack of hospitality without some form of sarcastic zinger or grunt of disapproval. And, when you’re forced to live in a crowded, dirty cottage with seven old, smelly guys, not a single one of us would feel the need to gather woodland animals for a spring-cleaning sensation, complete with a sing-along.

We can all learn a thing or two about our own happiness through Snow White’s example. Though we don’t have to add a sound track to every motion we make, we should look at every day as a new way to enjoy life. No matter what we’re up against, we can make our own happiness.

For example, when you have a big project due, a vocab test to take, need to find a ride to school because you missed the bus, and just figured out that you put your underwear on the outside of your pants, don’t sweat it! Be like Snow White and find a way to get rid of the Grumpy in you. The first thing to do: take a deep breath. This is a good idea, whether or not you are having a bad day!

Second, think of what could be worse. You could have a science lab due, or maybe you could’ve completely forgotten your underwear! So, go to step three: think about what you’re grateful for. Be glad that you studied for that vocab test, and that you are able to go to school. Step four: smile. Find something good in your day. Don’t wait for someone else to hand you joy. Celebrate whatever!

Just whistle while you work, send your dreams down into a wishing well, and use a smile and a song to get through your day, just like Snow White.

“There’s no use in grumbling when raindrops come tumbling. Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. When you smile and you sing, everything is in tune, and it’s spring, and life flows along. With a smile and a song.”

Trick or Treat

Halloween Night is quickly approaching, guided by costume stores popping up on the corners of every mini-mall, napkins and plates haunted by cartoon depictions of full moons and black cats, and seasonal episodes of your favorite cartoon shows on every channel. So, why on earth is Halloween relevant to self confidence?

Some Halloween traditions were taken from ancient traditions, including the wearing of costumes. Long, long ago (in a galaxy far, far away…) people would try to scare away the evil spirits that came out of the shadows on Hallow’s Eve by wearing frightening masks. The masks were these people’s defense against the ghosts that they were afraid of. But, when you wear a mask, don’t you do the exact same thing?

Many people choose to wear “masks” because they feel as though they need to hide from the world. But an even greater amount choose not to be themselves, and to put on a “mask”, because they are afraid of who they really are. These masks are a defense mechanism, designed to shield them from the criticism of others. What in the name of Salem, Massachusetts does that mean?

For example, let’s say that your friend Becky decides that she is now the biggest Jonas Brothers fan in the world. You, personally, prefer the soulful sounds of Kenny Chesney. Becky is absolutely bonkers over the Jonas Brothers, and you feel that, if you revealed that you were more of a Kenny girl, Becky may not feel the same way about you that she did before. You are afraid that your difference in opinion will put your friendship in jeopardy. (“I’ll take State Capitols for 400.” Okay, I know. That was an awful joke. Moving on…)

If you are the kind of person who hides behind a “mask”, you will ditch your beloved Kenny Chesney and pretend that you, too, are a Jonas girl. (Because Becky already claimed Joe, you settle on buying the T-shirt that says “Mrs. Nick Jonas”.) If you are confident in yourself and in your friendship, you will be able to admit your love of country music proudly. That does not mean that you both won’t be friends anymore. It just means that, in some ways, you and Becky are different.

In the Shine Through program, a motivational program designed to inspire self- confidence, participants learn that masks can be dangerous. When you wear a mask, you not only sacrifice your likes and dislikes, you can sacrifice your better judgment. When it comes to things like favorite music artists, wearing a mask doesn’t seem like such a big deal. How much can it hurt to choose one artist over another? But when it comes to things such as drugs, alcohol, and everything encompassed in the “bad influences” bubble, wearing a mask can really hurt you. So, in some ways, it is very okay to be different than Becky. Your choices are your own, and, by removing any masks you may wear, you can not only improve your self-esteem, you can keep yourself safe. The whole goal of the Shine Through program is to teach ways to take off these masks so that you can make smart healthy decisions in every aspect of your life.

And that’s perfectly okay! Being yourself means being confident about what you believe in, and standing up for what you feel is right, when the opportunity arises. There is no reason to hide behind a mask because you feel scared to be yourself. You are the only you that you know. Don’t be ashamed to embrace who you really are! And remember, just because it’s Halloween, it doesn’t mean that you have to wear a mask.

Wildlife Warriors

There is nothing wrong with being a vegetarian tree-hugger. Nothing at all. You do know that many of the world’s largest animals aren’t carnivores, right? Being concerned with the welfare of our earth and its inhabitants isn’t just a type of fashion fad we follow. It’s definitely not a selling technique used by companies by labeling their products “green”. Keeping our globe clean and thriving, as well as keeping our fellow critters safe, is our responsibility as the dominant species. So, why not take some time out of your day to do something to help Mother Nature out a bit!

A while ago, I decided to become a Wildlife Warrior (through the Australia Zoo). Ever since I was little, I have been obsessed with tigers, though I am not quite sure why. Most young children have kittens on their school folders or little bunnies sewn onto their socks. I had tiger print lunch boxes and wore those creepy shirts with tiger faces on them. But that’s a story for another day… Anyway, as a Wildlife Warrior, I got the opportunity to “adopt” a tiger from the Australia Zoo. It was so neat! I got a picture of my lovely little (gigantic) Bengal tiger, Khan, and some info about him. Every little tiger-loving girl’s dream come true, right?

My point is that, when you help out, you always get something in return. Let’s say you find that a cashier gave you too much change for the donut you bought. If you return the money, you will most likely get a “thank you” from the cashier and the sunny feeling of a good deed. But, come on, it’s the twenty first century. We should get a little more credit for helping someone out! And so we will. When I gave to the Wildlife Warriors fund, I got the opportunity to take care of my very own tiger (technically speaking). Every time I look up from my computer, I see Khan’s picture, and it makes me so happy to know that I’m doing something good!

So, what happens after you return that extra change to the cashier? Who knows? You may find a ten dollar bill in your back pocket that you lost six months ago! You could have earned good luck for a whole day! There are just two little tricks to this “reward” thing.

First of all, you can’t look for your reward. Second, you can’t do good deeds just to get a reward. It doesn’t work that way. You can never know where your reward will come from or what form it will take. For example, there were four abandoned kittens in my neighborhood. Because, as I mentioned, I am a tree-hugging vegetarian animal-lover, I gave them food and shelter in my garage, and my family gave them plenty of attention to tame them, in order to find them loving homes. I know that I did a good deed, and was filled with that mushy, gooey feeling when each little fur ball found a good owner. I didn’t look for any reward because I felt that the kittens’ safety and happiness were enough for me.

There was one kitten left: the feisty little runt. No one wanted her! She was like the little cat in the movie Oliver and Company, only without the Billy Joel-obsessed doggie friends. So, in the end we had to keep her. I named her Sombrita, which means little shadow in Spanish (don’t ask), because she loved to pretend that she was still a wild cat, playing under blankets and behind curtains. I didn’t look for my reward, but now, every time she pops out from underneath a pillow or a tablecloth, I can see that this little kitty was precisely the thing I received for doing something good.

You don’t have to save kittens to be a good person. You don’t even have to donate to a big charity, even though that would be nice. Try picking up a candy wrapper that businessman just threw on the ground. Be nice to the planet and bring your own cloth grocery bags the next time you go shopping. Just doing the tiniest little things can have the biggest rewards. So don’t mock us tree-hugging vegetarians. We know that the best way to live a good life is to try and make the world a better place every day.

Summer Olympics

Ah, the summer Olympics. Where the athletic heroes gather from all corners of the globe to share in their passion for greatness. Each country watches with bated breath as their representatives push themselves to the limits of the human body, working tirelessly as onlookers wonder, “Why can’t I do that?”. Just recently, I, too joined the millions across the earth to watch the competitions (while at a sleepover, painting my nails, my cheeks covered with sticky green face mask). While watching the athletes perform, I discovered that the passion to do the impossible has to stem from somewhere. I discovered that these individuals had to be driven, not merely by the desire to be the best, but by the desire to be their best. Gold medalists did not achieve glory by deciding that they were not good enough, but by understanding that they could be the best.

No one is perfect. This is a concept I discovered by watching the fantastic female gymnasts twist and turn and flip in inhuman ways. Not one performance was given perfectly. And these gymnasts were the best of the best. So, if every single athlete ‘messed up’, how was a gold medal rewarded? It was because every single one of those girls were focused enough to redeem themselves after a slip or a loss of balance. Not one of them gave up if their form was wrong or if they took an extra step for balance. The point of their performance was to do their best.

It may be shocking that even the greatest gymnasts in the world make mistakes. But it is not shocking that a person with incredible abilities had to work incredibly hard to achieve the opportunity to represent their country in the Olympic Games. Can you even imagine the hours of training these people have to go through each and every day? That, my friends, is dedication at its finest. So, what can we learn from that? Confidence. Those who are willing to dedicate most of their lives to making their dreams come true have to have the utmost confidence in themselves and their goals. But what if you don’t want to become a table-tennis champion or a gold medal winner for the trampoline? The same rules still apply.

If you want to become a veterinarian, for example, you need to first have faith in your dreams. Let’s say that you volunteer at a local animal shelter, a great way to start out on the road to becoming an animal doctor. Let’s also say that, on Saturday, your best friend in the entire world is going to see the newest action flick and invites you to come along. You have been dying to go see that movie, but you had already promised to volunteer that day. You have to make a decision. Now, let’s say that you have a huge exam tomorrow in bio class that counts as thirty percent of your grade. Yikes. Your best friend in the entire world is having this huge bash at her house tonight and you really want to go. You have another decision to make.

I’m not saying that you always have to choose your dreams over your friends. The point is that you keep your goals in mind when making decisions. If you know that you will work an extra hour the next time you volunteer, then go ahead and go to the movies. But if that is your only day available for the next month, you may want to reconsider. Also, if you think that you could be home by eleven from the party and get a good night’s rest before taking the exam, then go ahead and enjoy the party. But if you will be up all hours of the morning dancing around your friend’s living room, it’s not a very responsible decision to go. That is a champion’s choice. If you have a goal in mind, and you believe in it with all your heart, you have many decisions to make that could help or hurt you along the way.

Being a star athlete takes dedication. It takes the confidence to believe in yourself and your goals. It takes hard work and tough choices. Being the best person you can be is no different. You must create for yourself an Olympian outlook. Knowing that you are doing your very best, despite your mistakes, will make you stronger. Knowing that you never lose sight of your goals is important, and being able to find them again if you have made a mistake is even more important. So whether you are performing in the Olympics or watching them while your avocado face peel dries, you can learn quite a few life lessons from the champs.