Saturday, October 4, 2008

Trick or Treat

Halloween Night is quickly approaching, guided by costume stores popping up on the corners of every mini-mall, napkins and plates haunted by cartoon depictions of full moons and black cats, and seasonal episodes of your favorite cartoon shows on every channel. So, why on earth is Halloween relevant to self confidence?

Some Halloween traditions were taken from ancient traditions, including the wearing of costumes. Long, long ago (in a galaxy far, far away…) people would try to scare away the evil spirits that came out of the shadows on Hallow’s Eve by wearing frightening masks. The masks were these people’s defense against the ghosts that they were afraid of. But, when you wear a mask, don’t you do the exact same thing?

Many people choose to wear “masks” because they feel as though they need to hide from the world. But an even greater amount choose not to be themselves, and to put on a “mask”, because they are afraid of who they really are. These masks are a defense mechanism, designed to shield them from the criticism of others. What in the name of Salem, Massachusetts does that mean?

For example, let’s say that your friend Becky decides that she is now the biggest Jonas Brothers fan in the world. You, personally, prefer the soulful sounds of Kenny Chesney. Becky is absolutely bonkers over the Jonas Brothers, and you feel that, if you revealed that you were more of a Kenny girl, Becky may not feel the same way about you that she did before. You are afraid that your difference in opinion will put your friendship in jeopardy. (“I’ll take State Capitols for 400.” Okay, I know. That was an awful joke. Moving on…)

If you are the kind of person who hides behind a “mask”, you will ditch your beloved Kenny Chesney and pretend that you, too, are a Jonas girl. (Because Becky already claimed Joe, you settle on buying the T-shirt that says “Mrs. Nick Jonas”.) If you are confident in yourself and in your friendship, you will be able to admit your love of country music proudly. That does not mean that you both won’t be friends anymore. It just means that, in some ways, you and Becky are different.

In the Shine Through program, a motivational program designed to inspire self- confidence, participants learn that masks can be dangerous. When you wear a mask, you not only sacrifice your likes and dislikes, you can sacrifice your better judgment. When it comes to things like favorite music artists, wearing a mask doesn’t seem like such a big deal. How much can it hurt to choose one artist over another? But when it comes to things such as drugs, alcohol, and everything encompassed in the “bad influences” bubble, wearing a mask can really hurt you. So, in some ways, it is very okay to be different than Becky. Your choices are your own, and, by removing any masks you may wear, you can not only improve your self-esteem, you can keep yourself safe. The whole goal of the Shine Through program is to teach ways to take off these masks so that you can make smart healthy decisions in every aspect of your life.

And that’s perfectly okay! Being yourself means being confident about what you believe in, and standing up for what you feel is right, when the opportunity arises. There is no reason to hide behind a mask because you feel scared to be yourself. You are the only you that you know. Don’t be ashamed to embrace who you really are! And remember, just because it’s Halloween, it doesn’t mean that you have to wear a mask.