"I Feel Pretty"

Every girl at one point in their lives has sung the famous show tune whilst getting ready for some big event, in the shower, or at a sleepover at one a.m. I know I have, and really regretted doing so because, for the rest of the day, the song played through my head over and over and over and over…

When you think “I feel pretty”, you often don’t think “West Side Story”, the musical from which the annoying-but-loved little tune comes from. Since January, I have been rehearsing the show, (and have created a love/hate relationship with “I feel pretty”), because I was cast as Maria in my school’s production of the musical. “West Side Story”, aside from its more upbeat and cheery songs, like “Officer Krupke” and “America”, expresses such important, fascinating life lessons. Though we may have seen the Natalie Wood film version at least a zillion times, we probably have taken for granted all the obvious teachings.

During the first couple weeks of rehearsal, I was having trouble understanding my character, and found it extremely difficult to portray that character on the stage. Then, a little light bulb clicked on in my head. I figured out that, in order to understand someone, I had to listen to what they were saying. It wasn’t enough that I knew all my lines. I needed to understand them.

The most shockingly true line that I say in the show is: “But it’s not us; it’s everything around us.” At first, I took the line for granted. It occurs at one of the most emotionally intense moments of the story, when my character is losing all hope that she and Tony, the “Romeo” character, could ever be together in the world that they live in. It seemed pretty straightforward. Maria knew that she and Tony weren’t wrong in wanting to be together; it was everyone else that was wrong in trying to keep them apart.

But, when I really listened to what I was saying, I realized that my line meant so much more. I found out that what Maria really says is that, if you believe in anything at all that is good in the world, and have enough faith to pursue it, you create hope in the midst of those who create hatred. That is one powerful statement that I would have so easily let slip by me.

“West Side Story” is most obviously a modern version of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet”. It is more often thought of as a spin-off of Shakespeare’s poetry, instead of poetry itself. Every word sung in the performance has so much purpose, and is not always recognized. Perhaps the most purposeful poetry in the whole of “West Side Story” occurs in the famous song “Somewhere”.

Everything said within the song gives the hope that the world will someday change if we have enough courage to make peace with one another. For example, the line “hold my hand and we’re halfway there” may be the most compelling. It tells the world how to live in the way we have always dreamed. All we have to do is join hands, make peace, and accept that we are not all the same, and we will have already made it halfway to a peaceful existence, side by side.

You see how just listening can make all the difference?

So, the next time you’re watching “West Side Story”, take a moment to think about what the characters are trying to tell you. Or maybe, the next time your mother is rambling on about something you would usually tune out; take a moment to think about what she is trying to teach you. Or perhaps, take a moment to listen to those you would usually ignore. Maybe they, too, have something important to say. Who knows? Maybe, if we all take just one more moment to listen and understand one another, we can find that place for us that we’ve always dreamed of.
“We’ll find a new way of living.

We’ll find a way of forgiving,

Somewhere.

There’s a time for us.

Someday a time for us.

Time together with time to spare.

Time to love, time to care.

Someday.

Somewhere.

We’ll find a new way of living.

We’ll find a way of forgiving.

Somewhere.

There’s a place for us.

Somewhere a place for us.

Hold my hand and we’re halfway there.

Hold my hand and I’ll take you there.

Somehow.

Someday.

Somewhere.”

Sweet Sixteen

Now, I know what pops into your head whenever someone says "sweet sixteen". It's that slightly irritating Hillary Duff song, right? I knew it! So, what is so amazing about turning sixteen? Why do we even have special celebrations like bat & bar mitzvahs, quincineras, and sweet sixteens?
Maybe it's just an excuse for a party. Or maybe it has something to do with an addictive desperation for cake with too much icing... Either way, these "special" years of our lives are celebrated because they represent something very important: our maturity.
And, at 16, we're definitely as mature as they come, right? We don't still watch old Barney movies and Disney sing-alongs while playing dress-up at our friends' houses. (I would never do that...)
By the time we reach these celebrated points in our lives, we should have a level of maturity worth celebrating.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't mean that we all start balding or go through a "four-twenty fifths" life crisis. We should, though, know how to make good decisions for ourselves.
When you Shine Through, you are acting maturely because you learn to make smart decisions about your life and how you live it. By acting like a mature adult, you are expressing your self-confidence and self respect. That's something worth celebrating. (Even if you do sing the "Go Diego, Go!" theme song on a daily basis.)
So, whatever you celebrate, whenever you celebrate it, know that all the cake and decorations, DJs and dances, don't really matter. What does matter is that you have th responsibility of being a mature person, and have earned self-respect and self-esteem. (And, it's also important to do something about that cake addiction. You know, because of what happened last time...)

Be careful what you wish for...

How many times have you said “Oh my gosh, I wish I was her”? Okay, maybe you’ve never said that, but I’m sure you’ve thought it. I know I have, especially when watching “The Princess Bride” at the very beginning when Buttercup’s on the farm, and …well, you know.

But, if you honestly would give anything to become someone else, you don’t realize your self-worth. When you idealize, you put yourself down. You become your own worst enemy, which is extremely dangerous. What exactly is idealization? How is it different from admiration?

When you admire someone, you like something about them. Period.

Example: This past weekend, I went to the Texas Book Festival (soo much fun), and met my favorite author of all time, Gail Carson-Levine. I admire her work, and I hope to become as successful a writer as her someday. Do I want to become her? Not really. (Unless you give me the movie deal for “Ella Enchanted” & a chance to meet Anne Hathaway…)

When you aspire to be like someone, you not only admire something about them, you apply it to yourself in a good way.

Example: Alice Paul, a Women’s Rights suffragette in the early 1900’s, grew up around where I live. I am inspired by her bravery and intelligence, and aspire to become as strong a woman as she was. Do I want to become her? Not exactly. (Unless it means switching places with Hilary Swank in the movie about Alice Paul, especially the part where she meets McDreamy…)

When you idealize, it’s no longer “I like her Jimmy Choos!” or “I love her ability to play the cymbals! I want to learn to do that!” Your attitude changes from the Sunshine Care Bear to the Rain-cloud Grumpy Bear. You say “Why are her shoes better than mine? I would do anything to look as good in them as she does!”

Can you see the problem?

If you were to idealize someone, you would go out of your way to convince yourself that you are worthless, and then try desperately to become someone who you feel is better. Instead of trying to improve yourself to become a better person, you change yourself to become a different person. You change your hair, clothes, personality, interests, values, and behavior, all to become someone you’re not.

Idealization can be very dangerous. (Just imagine if you idealized The Hulk!!! Or not…) When you can learn to admire someone and aspire to be more like them, instead of falling victim to idealization, you can learn to accept yourself, improve yourself, and shine through.