Giving Back

Whenever you go to Dunkin Donuts and see those little jars with the pictures of dying puppies on them, you probably say “aww” and pocket the change you receive for your two-dollar-and-fifty-cents Coolata. Giving back doesn’t mean saying “aww” and walking away. When you give back, you hand over something that is yours, whether it be time or treasure, to someone or something else who needs it more!

Try it out! Look around you for inspiration. Good deeds don’t always have to be a public affair. Something simple, like picking up a neighbor’s fallen trash can, is perfectly fine. Going through old stuffed animals and giving them away to a homeless shelter is even better. Anything will do!

If you were to tell me three years ago that I would be traveling around the country promoting a motivational presentation, I would have told you that you were crazy and recommend for you a number of hospitals that would help you with your problem… But now, I can’t imagine going through my day without knowing that I have made an effort to help someone in some way. It becomes a habit in no time!

A good way to start is by planning to do five small acts of charity per day. It really isn’t that hard! You could start by putting away the clean dishes in the dishwasher without being asked to. Later, you could give half of your ham and cheese sandwich to the kid whose mother packed him tuna surprise for lunch. Elementary, right? (My dear Watson?) (Okay, no more Sherlock jokes, I promise…for now…)

I don’t really like publicizing the things that I have done in the past, but maybe this example can give you a few ideas: For my sixteenth birthday, I had a “fairy tale storybook” theme. I had all my friends (including the guys) dress up as characters from their favorite fairy tale or nursery rhyme. And, instead of gifts, I asked everyone to bring a few books they used to read when they were little to be donated. It was really simple! I ended up with a pile of almost 200 books!

It was such an easy thing to do, and I’m sure it will make a huge difference.

So, get your charitable brain juices flowing! (Umm…okay, so that wasn’t the best image…) Take a few minutes every day to look around and see what good you can do in your world. It will definitely not hurt you in any way! And you can feel proud that you helped just a little bit to make the world a bit brighter than before. (With rainbows and unicorns and bunnies… just kidding. But, that would be pretty awesome!)

And remember: that fifty cents left over from your Coolata could go a long way in helping to save the lives of poor innocent puppies! Don’t wait! Save a doggie today!

"Purple Wig Theory"

The “Purple Wig Theory” in the Shine Through program is all about appreciating and respecting yourself, no matter what. The entire program is created in order to teach ways to be yourself and not change who you are. But, of course, there are exceptions to the rule…

When you learn to Shine Through, you learn to focus on becoming the person you wish to become. This means trying your best to be your best, no matter what others think. The goal is to improve upon yourself in the best possible ways, and not to worry about how others perceive you.

Say you’re a superhero who needs a secret identity. (Let’s make this fun…) You have always wanted to become a math teacher. Your super-friends don’t exactly agree with this idea. (They all are becoming journalists at local newspapers…) But, because they are your true super-friends, you realize they are still alright with your decision!

So, you choose a math teacher as your secret identity. But, of course, you need to go to college first. You have already learned how to Shine Through, so now what? Let’s say that, along with the ability to fly, talk to animals, and shoot heat beams from your eyeballs, you have the power of super-procrastination! (Ta-da!) In order to get to college, you have to learn to refrain from procrastination.

But, wait! The Shine Through program teaches to never change who you are! That may be true, but by improving upon your school skills, you are changing yourself for the better. You aren’t doing it because someone told you to, but because you wanted to. See the difference?

Now, Ms. Superhero, you have mastered the ability to accept the fact that you are different from your super-friends, to learn to like yourself the way you are, and to improve upon yourself to become the person you wish to be! See how easy that is?

I have my own example of improving upon yourself for the better. Last month, I was in my high school production of “West Side Story” as Maria. So, to play the part, I decided to dye my hair a lot darker. This seems pretty shocking from the creator of the Purple Wig Theory, huh?

Well, I decided that, by dying my hair, it helped me to become the character and improve upon my acting skills. Because drama is so important to me, it was worth it! I didn’t change who I was inside, but I improved upon myself as an actor. Still see the difference?

So, the next time you have an opportunity, improve upon yourself! It could be as simple as straightening up your sock drawer, studying an extra hour for your next Spanish test, or choosing to eat more fruit every day. Try it! And never lose sight of that person you wish to become.

"I Feel Pretty"

Every girl at one point in their lives has sung the famous show tune whilst getting ready for some big event, in the shower, or at a sleepover at one a.m. I know I have, and really regretted doing so because, for the rest of the day, the song played through my head over and over and over and over…

When you think “I feel pretty”, you often don’t think “West Side Story”, the musical from which the annoying-but-loved little tune comes from. Since January, I have been rehearsing the show, (and have created a love/hate relationship with “I feel pretty”), because I was cast as Maria in my school’s production of the musical. “West Side Story”, aside from its more upbeat and cheery songs, like “Officer Krupke” and “America”, expresses such important, fascinating life lessons. Though we may have seen the Natalie Wood film version at least a zillion times, we probably have taken for granted all the obvious teachings.

During the first couple weeks of rehearsal, I was having trouble understanding my character, and found it extremely difficult to portray that character on the stage. Then, a little light bulb clicked on in my head. I figured out that, in order to understand someone, I had to listen to what they were saying. It wasn’t enough that I knew all my lines. I needed to understand them.

The most shockingly true line that I say in the show is: “But it’s not us; it’s everything around us.” At first, I took the line for granted. It occurs at one of the most emotionally intense moments of the story, when my character is losing all hope that she and Tony, the “Romeo” character, could ever be together in the world that they live in. It seemed pretty straightforward. Maria knew that she and Tony weren’t wrong in wanting to be together; it was everyone else that was wrong in trying to keep them apart.

But, when I really listened to what I was saying, I realized that my line meant so much more. I found out that what Maria really says is that, if you believe in anything at all that is good in the world, and have enough faith to pursue it, you create hope in the midst of those who create hatred. That is one powerful statement that I would have so easily let slip by me.

“West Side Story” is most obviously a modern version of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet”. It is more often thought of as a spin-off of Shakespeare’s poetry, instead of poetry itself. Every word sung in the performance has so much purpose, and is not always recognized. Perhaps the most purposeful poetry in the whole of “West Side Story” occurs in the famous song “Somewhere”.

Everything said within the song gives the hope that the world will someday change if we have enough courage to make peace with one another. For example, the line “hold my hand and we’re halfway there” may be the most compelling. It tells the world how to live in the way we have always dreamed. All we have to do is join hands, make peace, and accept that we are not all the same, and we will have already made it halfway to a peaceful existence, side by side.

You see how just listening can make all the difference?

So, the next time you’re watching “West Side Story”, take a moment to think about what the characters are trying to tell you. Or maybe, the next time your mother is rambling on about something you would usually tune out; take a moment to think about what she is trying to teach you. Or perhaps, take a moment to listen to those you would usually ignore. Maybe they, too, have something important to say. Who knows? Maybe, if we all take just one more moment to listen and understand one another, we can find that place for us that we’ve always dreamed of.
“We’ll find a new way of living.

We’ll find a way of forgiving,

Somewhere.

There’s a time for us.

Someday a time for us.

Time together with time to spare.

Time to love, time to care.

Someday.

Somewhere.

We’ll find a new way of living.

We’ll find a way of forgiving.

Somewhere.

There’s a place for us.

Somewhere a place for us.

Hold my hand and we’re halfway there.

Hold my hand and I’ll take you there.

Somehow.

Someday.

Somewhere.”

Sweet Sixteen

Now, I know what pops into your head whenever someone says "sweet sixteen". It's that slightly irritating Hillary Duff song, right? I knew it! So, what is so amazing about turning sixteen? Why do we even have special celebrations like bat & bar mitzvahs, quincineras, and sweet sixteens?
Maybe it's just an excuse for a party. Or maybe it has something to do with an addictive desperation for cake with too much icing... Either way, these "special" years of our lives are celebrated because they represent something very important: our maturity.
And, at 16, we're definitely as mature as they come, right? We don't still watch old Barney movies and Disney sing-alongs while playing dress-up at our friends' houses. (I would never do that...)
By the time we reach these celebrated points in our lives, we should have a level of maturity worth celebrating.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't mean that we all start balding or go through a "four-twenty fifths" life crisis. We should, though, know how to make good decisions for ourselves.
When you Shine Through, you are acting maturely because you learn to make smart decisions about your life and how you live it. By acting like a mature adult, you are expressing your self-confidence and self respect. That's something worth celebrating. (Even if you do sing the "Go Diego, Go!" theme song on a daily basis.)
So, whatever you celebrate, whenever you celebrate it, know that all the cake and decorations, DJs and dances, don't really matter. What does matter is that you have th responsibility of being a mature person, and have earned self-respect and self-esteem. (And, it's also important to do something about that cake addiction. You know, because of what happened last time...)

Spring Fever

Got spring fever? I do. What is it about spring that gives us that fuzzy feeling inside? The melting of the snow? The birds that wake you up at five in the morning when you’re still asleep? The idea that you have to start mowing the lawn every Wednesday afternoon? The pollen? The spring cleaning? The ants in your pantry? (The ants in your pants?)

Though all these things most definitely signal spring’s arrival, I think that spring fever comes from the idea of new beginnings. Just like a tree begins to blossom with new flowers, we feel as if we, too, can make a new start. And what better way to start anew than by being yourself?

This spring, as you begin to scrub the places in your house that haven’t been scrubbed since last year’s spring cleaning—gross—you can also begin to think about new ways in which you can practice being yourself. Maybe there’s a school sport starting up this month. If you think it sounds like fun, go sign up for the team, no matter what you think your friends will think. If they really care about you, they won’t care that you like something that they don’t.

By letting yourself Shine Through, you are creating new experiences that you would have never imagined yourself being a part of. Try something new and exciting! Look at the world through your own eyes and you’ll see so many more fun opportunities to enjoy being yourself.

So, grab some Mr. Clean, some tissues for those allergy-induced sneezes, a fly swatter, and some self esteem, and get ready for a great new spring beginning! Just, be careful not to overdo it. You remember what happened the last time you used a fly swatter…

Lucky Charms

Have you ever attempted to search through your entire back yard for a single four-leaf clover? Did you tear out every last flower in your grandmother's precious garden and every blade of grass in your father's precious lawn in a desperate attempt to find luck? Okay, maybe you haven't. I haven't done that either. (Except for those couple of times....last week...)
We all search for luck, whether it's by searching for four-leaf clover (and getting grounded for it), finding a penny on the sidewalk, or chasing a rainbow to it's end. (Or, of course catching Lucky the leprechaun before he uses his marshmallow powers to disappear.) But can't we bring about our own luck?
It's always fun to believe in luck - and, who knows? Maybe you really can get lucky-but you shouldn't rely completely on it. Maybe the reason you aren't getting lucky is because you aren't being proactive. Maybe, if you go after your dreams, the luck will come to you. It's worth a try.
For your next science test, feel free to wear your lucky underwear, but be sure to study well ahead of time. Your underwear can only do so much when it comes to acing that test. Trust me.
If you have a great idea, don't just dream about it or simply wish on a star for it. (That only works for Gepetto-and I'm sure you don't want a fairy breaking into your house and bringing your puppet to life. That would be creepy.)
Instead of waiting for your dream to come true, make it come true. Go after it! Keep a positive attitute and try your best. Lucky the leprechaun won't be able to resist you!

Season's Greetings

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe help to make the season bright. But what about the things that really matter?

Every chain email you’ve been getting recently has probably told you this, but it’s true. The holiday season truly is about reflecting on what really matters. So, past all the greeting cards and things you toss aside before stuffing your face with the chocolate inside the box…what does this mean?

It’s all about whatever you do every day that you are grateful for. It’s about acknowledging the little things—as well as the big things—that make your life meaningful. It might be something as simple as I’m grateful for not being forced by my parents to eat Granny Moscovitz’s latkes. Or, something like, I am so lucky that my brother Ricky didn’t get a drum set for Christmas. Then I would have an even worse headache…

Recognizing the bigger things is just as important. When you’re stuck in a never-ending line at Wal Mart buying yet another bubble bath kit for your big sister, take a moment and think, What am I grateful for? You’re probably grateful that you’re wearing a coat, right? You’re grateful that, even though your sister annoys the fruit cake out of you, she still loves you. (Except when she finds out that you stole her Gap straight leg jeans right out of the dryer before she could get at them. Then, she might not love you so much…)

How about your house? You have one. It’s warm. How about your Grandmother’s latkes? You have food to eat. (Even if it tastes like shoe.) There are so many things that you have in your everyday life that you don’t think twice about. Well, ‘tis the season to thank your lucky star that you have all these things.

Whatever you celebrate, and whoever you celebrate it with, be thankful for what you have and what you share with others. When we can find joy in what we have, and not find greed for what we don’t have, it helps to make the season bright.

So have fun this holiday season and enjoy all your family, friends, latkes, fruit cake, and the magic of the holidays. Happy Chrismahannukwaanzica to all, and to all a good night!

Be careful what you wish for...

How many times have you said “Oh my gosh, I wish I was her”? Okay, maybe you’ve never said that, but I’m sure you’ve thought it. I know I have, especially when watching “The Princess Bride” at the very beginning when Buttercup’s on the farm, and …well, you know.

But, if you honestly would give anything to become someone else, you don’t realize your self-worth. When you idealize, you put yourself down. You become your own worst enemy, which is extremely dangerous. What exactly is idealization? How is it different from admiration?

When you admire someone, you like something about them. Period.

Example: This past weekend, I went to the Texas Book Festival (soo much fun), and met my favorite author of all time, Gail Carson-Levine. I admire her work, and I hope to become as successful a writer as her someday. Do I want to become her? Not really. (Unless you give me the movie deal for “Ella Enchanted” & a chance to meet Anne Hathaway…)

When you aspire to be like someone, you not only admire something about them, you apply it to yourself in a good way.

Example: Alice Paul, a Women’s Rights suffragette in the early 1900’s, grew up around where I live. I am inspired by her bravery and intelligence, and aspire to become as strong a woman as she was. Do I want to become her? Not exactly. (Unless it means switching places with Hilary Swank in the movie about Alice Paul, especially the part where she meets McDreamy…)

When you idealize, it’s no longer “I like her Jimmy Choos!” or “I love her ability to play the cymbals! I want to learn to do that!” Your attitude changes from the Sunshine Care Bear to the Rain-cloud Grumpy Bear. You say “Why are her shoes better than mine? I would do anything to look as good in them as she does!”

Can you see the problem?

If you were to idealize someone, you would go out of your way to convince yourself that you are worthless, and then try desperately to become someone who you feel is better. Instead of trying to improve yourself to become a better person, you change yourself to become a different person. You change your hair, clothes, personality, interests, values, and behavior, all to become someone you’re not.

Idealization can be very dangerous. (Just imagine if you idealized The Hulk!!! Or not…) When you can learn to admire someone and aspire to be more like them, instead of falling victim to idealization, you can learn to accept yourself, improve yourself, and shine through.