The Road of Life

Just three weeks ago, I bravely faced the open road in a vehicle reading “Student Driver” and took my place as one of the courageous souls who travel the country upon the highways of America: drivers. Okay, so it isn’t all that incredible. But being able to drive is a part of life for many people, and it does teach some pretty important lessons.

For example, you’re cruising along on your way to the shore with the top down, the radio on, and your mom in the front seat (at least until you turn seventeen. New Jersey rule). You’re paying attention to everything you have to be paying attention to: the road, the signs that say “Rest Stop, ext.3”, the other cars around you. And you stop and think, What else does all this stuff mean? Unless, of course, you aren’t like me and are actually paying attention to the fact that traffic is backed up for 30 miles…

So, while you sit there, you realize that life is like a trip to the beach. (Or “down the shore” if you live nearby me… Again, another New Jersey thing. Like tomatoes.) Life can take you to the most beautiful, enjoyable place in the world, if you know how to get there. The first thing you have to do is pull out of your driveway. If you don’t get on the road, you’ll never get there! The same is true with your everyday life. Do you have a goal? A dream? Get on the road! Don’t just sit at home imagining what would happen if you took a chance. Pull out of your driveway and put the car in drive. (Figuratively, of course.)

The next thing you have to do is figure out how to get there. A good way to start is by planning ahead. Grab a MapQuest roadmap beforehand. It’s always good to figure out your best route first. Then, follow the road signs when you aren’t sure which way to go. Life has the same rules. Plan ahead before you leave. Take some time to analyze the best way of achieving your goal. Let’s say you wish to open the best bakery around. First, you might have to go to school to learn about owning and operating a business. Plan it out! Then, when you are unsure about something, others’ advice could help a whole lot, as long as you use your own judgment, as well.

So, you’ve made it to the highway! Hooray! You’re finally in the fast lane on your way to the beach! The most important thing to do here is watch the road and the other cars around you. It can get pretty dangerous in the fast lane, and you want to stay as safe as possible. Once again, you can apply this symbolically. (Either that, or I didn’t get enough sleep last night…) You always have to keep your eyes on the road. If you get distracted by a squirrel or a shiny antennae topper, you could easily get hurt. So, if you get distracted from your goal in any way, it could hurt your chances of achieving it. Also, if you have to pull over for something—anything—you need to get back on. Nothing of little importance should distract you from the big picture.

Ahh, success! You made it through the highway and are now cruising up to the parking lot right next to the sand and the waves. The sun is shining, the seagulls are screaming, and the little girl walking by is covered in chocolate ice cream. You made it! Now you can relax and enjoy the beautiful day. So, when you make it to your dream, your bakery is open, and you can sit back and enjoy your success, there is still one more thing you need to do. You need to say “thanks”. It doesn’t really matter who you say it to. You could say it to your professors at that college you worked so hard to get into, your parents for letting you bake cookies every day since you were three, or even your employees for doing such a great job every day. Just be grateful for achieving your goal!

So, the next time you sit in traffic, whether you’re in the driver’s seat, the passenger seat, or in the back squeezed between two little brothers fighting over the last French fry, take a minute to think about how you can apply everything around you to your own life. Just don’t think for too long, or you’ll miss your turn…

"Purple Wig Theory"

The “Purple Wig Theory” in the Shine Through program is all about appreciating and respecting yourself, no matter what. The entire program is created in order to teach ways to be yourself and not change who you are. But, of course, there are exceptions to the rule…

When you learn to Shine Through, you learn to focus on becoming the person you wish to become. This means trying your best to be your best, no matter what others think. The goal is to improve upon yourself in the best possible ways, and not to worry about how others perceive you.

Say you’re a superhero who needs a secret identity. (Let’s make this fun…) You have always wanted to become a math teacher. Your super-friends don’t exactly agree with this idea. (They all are becoming journalists at local newspapers…) But, because they are your true super-friends, you realize they are still alright with your decision!

So, you choose a math teacher as your secret identity. But, of course, you need to go to college first. You have already learned how to Shine Through, so now what? Let’s say that, along with the ability to fly, talk to animals, and shoot heat beams from your eyeballs, you have the power of super-procrastination! (Ta-da!) In order to get to college, you have to learn to refrain from procrastination.

But, wait! The Shine Through program teaches to never change who you are! That may be true, but by improving upon your school skills, you are changing yourself for the better. You aren’t doing it because someone told you to, but because you wanted to. See the difference?

Now, Ms. Superhero, you have mastered the ability to accept the fact that you are different from your super-friends, to learn to like yourself the way you are, and to improve upon yourself to become the person you wish to be! See how easy that is?

I have my own example of improving upon yourself for the better. Last month, I was in my high school production of “West Side Story” as Maria. So, to play the part, I decided to dye my hair a lot darker. This seems pretty shocking from the creator of the Purple Wig Theory, huh?

Well, I decided that, by dying my hair, it helped me to become the character and improve upon my acting skills. Because drama is so important to me, it was worth it! I didn’t change who I was inside, but I improved upon myself as an actor. Still see the difference?

So, the next time you have an opportunity, improve upon yourself! It could be as simple as straightening up your sock drawer, studying an extra hour for your next Spanish test, or choosing to eat more fruit every day. Try it! And never lose sight of that person you wish to become.

Spring Fever

Got spring fever? I do. What is it about spring that gives us that fuzzy feeling inside? The melting of the snow? The birds that wake you up at five in the morning when you’re still asleep? The idea that you have to start mowing the lawn every Wednesday afternoon? The pollen? The spring cleaning? The ants in your pantry? (The ants in your pants?)

Though all these things most definitely signal spring’s arrival, I think that spring fever comes from the idea of new beginnings. Just like a tree begins to blossom with new flowers, we feel as if we, too, can make a new start. And what better way to start anew than by being yourself?

This spring, as you begin to scrub the places in your house that haven’t been scrubbed since last year’s spring cleaning—gross—you can also begin to think about new ways in which you can practice being yourself. Maybe there’s a school sport starting up this month. If you think it sounds like fun, go sign up for the team, no matter what you think your friends will think. If they really care about you, they won’t care that you like something that they don’t.

By letting yourself Shine Through, you are creating new experiences that you would have never imagined yourself being a part of. Try something new and exciting! Look at the world through your own eyes and you’ll see so many more fun opportunities to enjoy being yourself.

So, grab some Mr. Clean, some tissues for those allergy-induced sneezes, a fly swatter, and some self esteem, and get ready for a great new spring beginning! Just, be careful not to overdo it. You remember what happened the last time you used a fly swatter…

Lucky Charms

Have you ever attempted to search through your entire back yard for a single four-leaf clover? Did you tear out every last flower in your grandmother's precious garden and every blade of grass in your father's precious lawn in a desperate attempt to find luck? Okay, maybe you haven't. I haven't done that either. (Except for those couple of times....last week...)
We all search for luck, whether it's by searching for four-leaf clover (and getting grounded for it), finding a penny on the sidewalk, or chasing a rainbow to it's end. (Or, of course catching Lucky the leprechaun before he uses his marshmallow powers to disappear.) But can't we bring about our own luck?
It's always fun to believe in luck - and, who knows? Maybe you really can get lucky-but you shouldn't rely completely on it. Maybe the reason you aren't getting lucky is because you aren't being proactive. Maybe, if you go after your dreams, the luck will come to you. It's worth a try.
For your next science test, feel free to wear your lucky underwear, but be sure to study well ahead of time. Your underwear can only do so much when it comes to acing that test. Trust me.
If you have a great idea, don't just dream about it or simply wish on a star for it. (That only works for Gepetto-and I'm sure you don't want a fairy breaking into your house and bringing your puppet to life. That would be creepy.)
Instead of waiting for your dream to come true, make it come true. Go after it! Keep a positive attitute and try your best. Lucky the leprechaun won't be able to resist you!

Season's Greetings

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe help to make the season bright. But what about the things that really matter?

Every chain email you’ve been getting recently has probably told you this, but it’s true. The holiday season truly is about reflecting on what really matters. So, past all the greeting cards and things you toss aside before stuffing your face with the chocolate inside the box…what does this mean?

It’s all about whatever you do every day that you are grateful for. It’s about acknowledging the little things—as well as the big things—that make your life meaningful. It might be something as simple as I’m grateful for not being forced by my parents to eat Granny Moscovitz’s latkes. Or, something like, I am so lucky that my brother Ricky didn’t get a drum set for Christmas. Then I would have an even worse headache…

Recognizing the bigger things is just as important. When you’re stuck in a never-ending line at Wal Mart buying yet another bubble bath kit for your big sister, take a moment and think, What am I grateful for? You’re probably grateful that you’re wearing a coat, right? You’re grateful that, even though your sister annoys the fruit cake out of you, she still loves you. (Except when she finds out that you stole her Gap straight leg jeans right out of the dryer before she could get at them. Then, she might not love you so much…)

How about your house? You have one. It’s warm. How about your Grandmother’s latkes? You have food to eat. (Even if it tastes like shoe.) There are so many things that you have in your everyday life that you don’t think twice about. Well, ‘tis the season to thank your lucky star that you have all these things.

Whatever you celebrate, and whoever you celebrate it with, be thankful for what you have and what you share with others. When we can find joy in what we have, and not find greed for what we don’t have, it helps to make the season bright.

So have fun this holiday season and enjoy all your family, friends, latkes, fruit cake, and the magic of the holidays. Happy Chrismahannukwaanzica to all, and to all a good night!

Be careful what you wish for...

How many times have you said “Oh my gosh, I wish I was her”? Okay, maybe you’ve never said that, but I’m sure you’ve thought it. I know I have, especially when watching “The Princess Bride” at the very beginning when Buttercup’s on the farm, and …well, you know.

But, if you honestly would give anything to become someone else, you don’t realize your self-worth. When you idealize, you put yourself down. You become your own worst enemy, which is extremely dangerous. What exactly is idealization? How is it different from admiration?

When you admire someone, you like something about them. Period.

Example: This past weekend, I went to the Texas Book Festival (soo much fun), and met my favorite author of all time, Gail Carson-Levine. I admire her work, and I hope to become as successful a writer as her someday. Do I want to become her? Not really. (Unless you give me the movie deal for “Ella Enchanted” & a chance to meet Anne Hathaway…)

When you aspire to be like someone, you not only admire something about them, you apply it to yourself in a good way.

Example: Alice Paul, a Women’s Rights suffragette in the early 1900’s, grew up around where I live. I am inspired by her bravery and intelligence, and aspire to become as strong a woman as she was. Do I want to become her? Not exactly. (Unless it means switching places with Hilary Swank in the movie about Alice Paul, especially the part where she meets McDreamy…)

When you idealize, it’s no longer “I like her Jimmy Choos!” or “I love her ability to play the cymbals! I want to learn to do that!” Your attitude changes from the Sunshine Care Bear to the Rain-cloud Grumpy Bear. You say “Why are her shoes better than mine? I would do anything to look as good in them as she does!”

Can you see the problem?

If you were to idealize someone, you would go out of your way to convince yourself that you are worthless, and then try desperately to become someone who you feel is better. Instead of trying to improve yourself to become a better person, you change yourself to become a different person. You change your hair, clothes, personality, interests, values, and behavior, all to become someone you’re not.

Idealization can be very dangerous. (Just imagine if you idealized The Hulk!!! Or not…) When you can learn to admire someone and aspire to be more like them, instead of falling victim to idealization, you can learn to accept yourself, improve yourself, and shine through.